Previous England leader Lewis Moody has revealed he has been identified with motor neurone disease and acknowledged he cannot yet deal with the full implications of the muscle-deteriorating condition that ended the lives of fellow rugby players Doddie Weir and Rob Burrow.
The 47-year-old athlete, who was involved in the 2003 Rugby World Cup-winning side and won multiple English and European titles with Leicester, gave an interview to BBC Breakfast a fortnight after learning he has the disease.
"There's an element of facing the future and not wanting to completely absorb that at the minute," he commented.
"It isn't that I fail to comprehend where it's progressing. We grasp that. But there is absolutely a hesitation to confront the future for now."
Moody, talking with his wife Annie, states conversely he feels "at ease" as he directs his attention to his immediate welfare, his family and planning ahead for when the condition deteriorates.
"Maybe that's shock or perhaps I deal with matters differently, and after I have the facts, it's easier," he continued.
First Signs
Moody discovered he had MND after detecting some weakness in his upper arm while training in the gym.
After rehabilitation failed to improve the problem, a number of scans indicated nerves in his central nervous system had been damaged by MND.
"You're given this diagnosis of MND and we're understandably extremely emotional about it, but it's so strange because I feel like I'm perfectly healthy," he continued.
"I don't experience ill. I don't feel sick
"The signs I have are rather minimal. I have a small amount of muscle deterioration in the hand and the shoulder.
"I remain competent to performing all activities. And hopefully that will continue for as long as is attainable."
Condition Progression
MND can develop rapidly.
As per the non-profit MND Association, the disease kills a 33% of people within a 365 days and over half within 24 months of detection, as ingestion and respiration become increasingly challenging.
Therapy can only slow deterioration.
"It's never me that I experience sorrow for," stated an emotional Moody.
"There's sorrow around having to tell my mum - as an single child - and the implications that has for her."
Personal Consequences
Speaking from the family home with his wife and their family dog by his side, Moody was overcome with emotion when he spoke about breaking the news to his sons - 17-year Dylan and 15-year Ethan - the devastating news, stating: "This was the most difficult thing I've ever had to do."
"These are two wonderful boys and that was pretty devastating," Moody remarked.
"We positioned ourselves on the settee in weeping, Ethan and Dylan both embraced in each other, then the dog leapt across and commenced removing the tears off our faces, which was quite amusing."
Moody said the emphasis was being in the present.
"There is no solution and that is why you have to be very strongly focused on just embracing and enjoying all aspects now," he stated.
"As Annie said, we've been truly blessed that the only real choice I made when I concluded playing was to devote as much duration with the kids as possible. We don't get those times back."
Player Association
Top-level athletes are disproportionately impacted by MND, with investigations proposing the prevalence of the condition is up to sixfold higher than in the general population.
It is considered that by limiting the oxygen available and producing injury to motor neurone cells, frequent, strenuous training can activate the disease in those previously genetically susceptible.
Sports Professional Life
Moody, who won 71 England selections and toured with the British and Irish Lions in New Zealand in 2005, was nicknamed 'Mad Dog' during his professional days, in recognition of his courageous, relentless method to the game.
He competed through a bone injury of his leg for a duration with Leicester and once initiated a workout scuffle with colleague and friend Martin Johnson when, annoyed, he left a tackle pad and began participating in collisions.
After entering as a replacement in the Rugby World Cup championship win over Australia in 2003, he secured a ball at the back of the line-out in the decisive moment of play, establishing a foundation for scrum-half Matt Dawson to advance and Jonny Wilkinson to kick the match-winning drop kick.
Backing Community
Moody has earlier told Johnson, who captained England to that title, and a few other former players about his diagnosis, but the others will be finding out his news with the rest of public.
"We'll have a time when we'll need to rely on their assistance but, at the present, just having that sort of affection and recognition that people are there is all that matters," he stated.
"Rugby is such a excellent family.
"I said to the kids the other day, I've had an extraordinary life.
"Even when it finished now, I've enjoyed all of it and embraced all of it and got to do it with remarkable people.
"When you have the opportunity to call your enthusiasm your career, it's one of the greatest honors.
"Having accomplished it for so extended a duration with the teams that I did it with was a joy. And I know they will desire to assist in any way they can and I look forward to having those discussions."
